SEE 家长文章 | 给孩子更多留白时间 SEE Invited Parent Essay: More Free Time for Children to Grow

作者: 钟蓝迪 | SEE Author: Landi Zhong;

三个男孩的妈妈（7、9、11岁）| Mother of three boys aged 7, 9, and 11;

居住地 | Location: Ames, Iowa, United States;

2026年3月 | Time: March, 2026

我现在越来越相信一件事，无心插柳柳成荫，强扭的瓜不甜。More and more, I have come to believe something: things often grow naturally when we stop forcing them.

我从小是补课长大的。我记得从三年级开始，我就再也没有属于自己的星期六了，全部被奥数、英文、写作，甚至语文这些课外课占满了。I grew up surrounded by extra tutoring classes. From the third grade on, I no longer had Saturdays that belonged to me. They were filled with Olympiad math, English, writing, and even extra Chinese classes.

最关键的是，我们周末本来就有作业，我真不知道自己是怎么幸存下来的。本来还挺热爱学习的我，最终在学习里找不到任何乐趣。The most exhausting part was that we already had homework for the weekends. I honestly don’t know how I survived that time. As a child, I actually loved learning, but eventually I found no joy in it anymore.

我从小很喜欢数学、科学，但小时候的学习太像机器人了。有时候回想童年，我也不记得自己是怎么学着学着就什么也不爱了。I loved math and science when I was young, but the way we studied felt almost robotic. Sometimes when I look back on my childhood, I can’t even remember how I slowly went from loving things to not loving anything at all.

现在我已经有了自己的孩子，但仍然还在治愈自己这样的童年阴影。Now I have children of my own, yet I still find myself healing from the shadows of that kind of childhood.

我有三个男孩，我惊奇地发现他们有完全不同的性格。在教会里事奉、看孩子的时候，我也发现每一个孩子都有各自的美。我常常感叹上帝创造的奇妙：每一个不同的孩子，就像我们十根手指上的指纹一样，都是那么不一样。I have three boys, and I am constantly amazed by how different their personalities are. While serving in church and spending time with children, I have also come to see that every child carries their own unique beauty. I often marvel at the wonder of God’s creation: each child is different, just like the fingerprints on our ten fingers—no two are the same.

他们每个人都不同，喜欢的东西也不一样；他们也需要属于自己的时间去探索。Each of my boys is different. They like different things, and they all need their own time to explore.

我们很容易用信息摄入量来衡量成长速度，但我认为真正的成长发生在深度思考的沉默里。We often measure growth by how much information someone takes in, but I believe true growth often happens in the quietness of deep thinking.

前几年，我们给孩子安排了很多活动，比如钢琴课、童子军，还有篮球比赛等等。那段时间，我们家每天都非常忙碌。A few years ago, we arranged many activities for our children—piano lessons, Scouts, basketball games, and more. During that time, our family life was extremely busy.

每天在门口催促孩子们出门的时候，我看到他们脸上不情愿的表情，也看到自己疲惫不堪的状态。在这样的环境下，我们都变得很容易暴躁。Every day, as I stood at the door urging the kids to hurry out, I could see the unwilling expressions on their faces, and I could feel my own exhaustion. In that kind of environment, all of us became easily irritated.

那一刻我突然意识到，我和孩子之间的关系变得有些疏远了。我们全家在一起吃饭的时间减少了，在一起有质量的谈话也变少了。而孩子们在这样忙碌的生活里，好像也不知道自己到底在忙些什么。At one point, I suddenly realized that the relationship between me and my children had grown distant. We spent less time eating together as a family, and we had fewer meaningful conversations. In the midst of such a busy life, the children themselves didn’t even seem to know what they were so busy for.

今年，我们决定慢下来。我们取消了很多活动，只保留了钢琴课。留下钢琴，是因为希望他们能够在音乐中享受过程。而且我也不催促他们练习钢琴，只让他们按照自己的意愿去练习。This year, we decided to slow down. We canceled many activities and kept only piano lessons. We kept piano because we hoped they could enjoy the process of music. I also stopped urging them to practice and simply let them play when they wanted to.

在这个过程中，我发现了一件很有意思的事情。特别是我十一岁的老大，他开始给自己设立新的目标，主动去探索自己想学的东西。During this time, I noticed something very interesting. My oldest son, who is eleven, began setting new goals for himself and exploring things he truly wanted to learn.

比如，他对编程很感兴趣，好奇怎么做 App，于是就开始自己自学。他也非常喜欢魔方，希望能用更快的手法解开 3×3 魔方，所以花了很多时间自己练习。哥哥的兴趣也带动了两个弟弟，他们三个孩子最近真的非常热衷于解魔方。For example, he became interested in programming and started wondering how apps are made, so he began teaching himself. He also loves the Rubik’s Cube and hopes to solve the 3×3 cube faster, so he spends a lot of time practicing. His interest has influenced his two younger brothers, and recently the three of them have become very enthusiastic about solving cubes.

我并不是一定要看到他们在这些事情上取得多么了不起的成绩，这也不是我们追求的目标。但我能在孩子身上看到一种自发的、对新事物的热情和好奇，这种 热情 是前几年没有的。这也是为什么我越来越觉得，“留白”的时间对孩子来说是那么重要。I am not looking for them to achieve anything extraordinary in these things—that has never been our goal. But I can see in them a kind of spontaneous curiosity and enthusiasm for new things, something that I rarely saw a few years ago. That is why I increasingly feel that “unstructured time” is so important for children.

我们常常以为获得更多信息就能带来更多成长，也能消除成长中的不确定性。有时候我也以为那样能拓宽自己的知识，但人也很容易在无数信息中迷失自己。We often assume that gaining more information will automatically lead to more growth and help eliminate the uncertainties of growing up. Sometimes I thought that way too, believing that more information could expand our knowledge. But it is also easy for people to lose themselves in an endless stream of information.

我们人的时间和精力是有限的。我们的身体就像一个房间，如果一天无数个小时都在杂乱中不断堆积物品，我们也很难在这些杂乱无章的东西中找到真正有用的东西。Our time and energy are limited. Our minds are like a room: if we keep piling things into it hour after hour, it becomes difficult to find what is truly valuable among all the clutter.

给孩子更多空白时间，其实也是给他们更多整理“杂物”的时间，也给他们思考的空间，让他们慢慢发现自己到底对什么感兴趣。Giving children more empty space in their schedule is actually giving them time to sort through those “things.” It gives them space to think, and slowly discover what they are truly interested in.

更加重要的，是我们做父母的，也需要学习慢下来。不再被一件件堆积的事情推着走，而是学习在恩典中陪伴孩子的日子里，更多明白上帝的旨意。Even more importantly, we as parents also need to learn to slow down. Instead of being pushed forward by an endless list of things to do, we learn to accompany our children in grace and gradually understand God’s will in these days of parenting.

正如圣经所说：“你们要休息，要知道我是　神！” ——诗篇 46:10

As the Bible says:“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

也许在这样的安静与留白里，孩子会慢慢找到自己的方向；而我们做父母的，也能重新看见上帝在他们生命中的带领。Perhaps in this quietness and space, children will slowly find their own direction. And we, as parents, may once again see God’s guidance in our lives.

About SEE Parent Stories

SEE家长故事 是一个专门呈现SEE社区家长声音的栏目。在这里，我们分享来自世界各地的家长和教育工作者的真实经历、反思与体会，他们正在日常生活中探索如何陪伴和养育孩子。育儿从来没有唯一的标准答案——每个家庭都有自己的价值观、挑战与发现。通过这些故事，我们希望创造一个彼此学习与交流的空间，让家长能够从他人的经验中获得启发、鼓励，并一起思考家庭如何培养孩子的好奇心、品格以及对学习的热爱。SEE Parent Stories is a column dedicated to the voices of parents in the SEE community. Here we share real experiences, reflections, and lessons from parents and educators who are navigating the everyday work of raising and educating children. Parenting is never a single formula—each family brings its own values, challenges, and discoveries. Through these stories, we hope to create a space where parents can learn from one another, find encouragement, and reflect on the many ways families nurture children’s curiosity, character, and love of learning.

我们也诚挚邀请SEE社区的家长、照护者以及伙伴们投稿分享自己的故事。无论是关于学习或者在家学习的经历、支持孩子兴趣的发展、做出学校选择的思考，还是日常生活中那些看似平凡却充满意义的学习时刻，都可能为其他家庭带来启发与力量。如果您愿意分享您的经验，我们欢迎那些展现深思熟虑的育儿实践、真实挑战以及在养育孩子过程中获得的重要发现的故事。We warmly invite parents, caregivers, and members of the SEE community to contribute their own stories. Your reflections—whether about learning or homeschooling, supporting a child’s interests, navigating school choices, or everyday moments of learning at home—can offer insight and encouragement to other families. If you would like to share your experience, we welcome submissions that highlight thoughtful parenting, honest challenges, and meaningful discoveries along the journey of raising learners.

Essay by Landi Zhong; Photo 1 by Danty Yin; Photo 2 generated using WordPress built-in AI. Subscribe & Get Connected by Emailing Dr. Danty Yin: danty.yin@gmail.com OR danty.yin@mysunflower.org.